High Levels of Stupidity-The Legend of Zelda
by Digital Nekko
Summary: ~*~CHAPTER 3 UP~*~ High Levels of Stupidity Presents… The Legend of Zelda! What happens if the bodies of 5 Zelda characters and 5 friends get switched? Large masses of insanity... You have been warned... Muahaha!
1. WTF is going on?

*High Levels of Stupidity Presents. The Legend of Zelda*  
  
Digital Nekko: Hi and welcome to my first fic! YAY!  
  
Nyam-Nyam: Somebody's excited.  
  
TheGiantGrandma: -has a sudden craving for chicken noodle soup- Damn, we don't have any..  
  
Digital Nekko: Anymore random comments?  
  
TheGiantGrandma: Yes actually. Rock just farted and it smells pretty damn bad  
  
Nyam-Nyam: Little too much information there.  
  
Digital Nekko: ::pokes nyam in the side with a stick of bamboo:: DISCLAIMERS!!!!  
  
Nyam-Nyam: *mumbles* No we don't own Zelda and if you think so then all I can say is I am sorry for you. If you realized that before I even said anything then congratulations to you and your magical butt.  
  
Digital Nekko: ::blinks:: Don't get over excited Nyam.  
  
Nyam-Nyam: Shut up.  
  
TheGiantGrandma: I love how when people yawn, they lose their ability to hear for a second or two  
  
Nyam-Nyam: *blinks*  
  
Digital Nekko: ::blinks:: Okay. ON WITH THE SHOW!!!  
  
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[A quick little note. These ** are little footnote thingies and yes these are based on real people.]  
  
The 5 friends sat in the tiny living room together, crowded on the tiny couch. All were staring at the television as a girl sitting at one end of the couch with long loose curly black hair used a gray controller to move a blonde guy in a green tunic around the screen. She wore a blue halter-top with a black dragon design on it and blue flares. She was 14 years old and seemed a bit frustrated with the game.  
  
Next to her was a girl with long brown hair and a bored yet casual expression on her face. She was the shortest of the group standing at 5'1" but not the youngest. She wore a black tank top with a sparkly red dragon on it and blue flare jeans with a design on the bottom. Her name was Rachael but they called her Nyam.  
  
Nyam-Nyam: DID U HAVE TO MENTION MY HEIGHT STEPH!?  
  
Digital Nekko: Yes of coarse! Muahaha! Now shut up and let me finish.  
  
Nyam-Nyam: *grumbles a bit*  
  
Nyam sat next to Jeff. He was the tallest of them standing at 6'5" and it seemed quite strange to see him sitting next to someone so short. His hair was blonde and he was the youngest of the group strangely. He wore a casual t-shirt and jeans. Nothing really special.  
  
Next on the couch was Lauren. Her hair was dirty blonde and she wore glasses. She just stared blankly at the screen with her arms crossed. Who knows when she would suddenly say yet another random comment. She wore a black T-shirt and blue jeans.  
  
TheGiantGrandma: Who said randomness is a bad thing? -snickers-  
  
Digital Nekko: Shut up and let me just finish!  
  
Last was David. His hair was black, his clothes were black, and everything on him was black. He was the oldest at 15. His hair was spiked and he wore a black Marilyn Manson T-shirt and black LFOs. He was probably the best at this game and was a MAJOR pyro.  
  
Steph: Shut up you stupid fairy! AGH!!!!! ::attempts to whack the fairy with the master sword::  
  
Jeff: ::looks at David:: Yesterday, wasn't paintball awesome dude?  
  
David: How could I forget? ::looks at Nyam with a smirk::  
  
Nyam: ::glares at David and rubs her neck:: I will get you one day.*1*  
  
~David and Jeff laugh~  
  
Steph: What the - IT FROZE!  
  
~Everything disappears right before them and they are knocked out cold~  
  
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Link: ::wakes up and he's wearing all black clothing:: What in the Goddesses name just happened?  
  
Navi: Hey! Link! Look! Listen! Hey! ::jumps up and down like crazy wearing glasses::  
  
Ganondorf: ::snores:: It's mine! MY TEDDY BEAR! *2* ::now his hair is blonde and he's quite tall::  
  
Zelda: Oh my! What on Hyrule has happened? ::looks down at her tank top and jeans:: I want to go home! ::cries hysterically::  
  
Gerudo Thief [GT]: Give me your Rupees! *3* ::sticks a controller into Zelda's side thinking it's a sword::  
  
Zelda: ::still crying::  
  
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David: ::wakes up wearing a green tunic and boots:: Wha- ::looks around his little tree house thing:: Holy sugar *4*  
  
Lauren: ::outside house stuck in a fence:: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE! ::flutters her little wings:: I'm stuck. Bah! *5*  
  
David: ::looks outside to see little midgets in tunics running around with fairies following them and then hears Lauren's voice:: Lauren? Is that you? ::looks at the fairy stuck in the fence::  
  
Kokori: ::whacks Lauren with a Deku Stick which sends her flying at David::  
  
Lauren: ::hits him in the head and hovers while wobbling:: Whoa butterflies.*6*  
  
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Nyam: ::wakes up to find herself lying on a large bed draped with curtains:: Where the hell am I? ::walks to a nearby mirror as she realizes her hair is short:: OH MY GOD! THIS IS NUKING FUTS! *7* I'M ZELDA!!!???  
  
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Jeff: ::swings his large sword around, enjoying himself:: This is wicked man! I get to be the King of Evil! Nice!  
  
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Steph: ::panicking:: I'm lost, I'm in a desert, and I have swords! Woohoo! ::swings the swords around like crazy and does a little dance while chanting:: I got swords! I got swords!  
  
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Footnotes:  
  
1 - David hit Nyam in the back of her neck with a paintball last time we went together :)  
  
2 - Jeff was talking in his sleep. Nuf' said.  
  
3 - Once I snuck up on Nyam from behind and pretended to stick a knife in her back and I said, "Give me your money!"  
  
4 - David almost slipped in front of the teacher! Good save!  
  
5 - Lauren says that a lot  
  
6 - She says that a lot too  
  
7 - A good save by Nyam from her teacher!  
  
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Nyam-Nyam: YOU MADE ME ZELDA! *twitches*  
  
Digital Nekko: Yes I did :p  
  
Nyam-Nyam: I hate you.  
  
Digital Nekko: Love ya too Nyam! 


	2. Burning Kokoris? Wierd haircuts?

*High Levels of Stupidity Presents. The Legend of Zelda*  
  
Digital Nekko: Did you like the first chapter? Did ya? Did ya? Huh? Huh? Huh?  
  
Nyam-Nyam: I can't believe you made me Zelda.. I have to wear a dress!  
  
TheGiantGrandma: I think it's funny. Like the time you got stuck in 3 feet of mud and fell over.  
  
Nyam-Nyam: O.O ..........  
  
Digital Nekko: ::whacks nyam upside the head with her bamboo stick:: Disclaimers!!!!!!  
  
Nyam-Nyam: *looks all perky and stuff* Sorry but we don't own Zelda and if we did then Steph wouldn't be making this fanfic. She would be busy designing a new game. *stops perkiness* So I guess that really sucks, doesn't it?  
  
TheGiantGrandma: Have you guys ever seen headcheese?  
  
Nyam-Nyam: .. Whatever...  
  
Digital Nekko: Yea okay so review or die!  
  
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~In the Kokori Forest~  
  
David: Christ Lauren! Watch where you're goin'! ::rubs head::  
  
Lauren: The Great Deku Tree has summoned you!  
  
David: .. What are you doing?  
  
Lauren: I can't help it! The Great Deku Tree has summoned you!  
  
Saria: YAHOO! Link! ::waves violently::  
  
David: What? I'm not Link! I'm David! And.. I wanna wear black! ::looks down at Saria to see her grinning. Sighs and walks to the ladder but trips and falls down::  
  
Saria: WOW! YOU GOT A FAIRY! NOW YOU'RE A TRUE KOKORI!  
  
David: Stop screaming woman!  
  
Saria: THE GREAT DEKU TREE HAS SUMMONED YOU? WOW! WHAT AN HONOR!  
  
David: Huh? How did you know that?  
  
Saria: I DON'T KNOW! ::laughs hysterically::  
  
Lauren: ..Right.. The Great Deku Tree has summoned you!  
  
David: CAN IT! *1*::shoves Lauren in a bottle::  
  
~Suddenly, David realizes he has his lighter~  
  
David: ::laughs insanely as he lights Saria on fire:: Wow! Kokori make great firewood!  
  
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Nyam: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I'm wearing a prissy little dress!  
  
~Impa comes in~  
  
Impa: Do not scream Zelda for if you do our doom is surely to come! By the way, I tried to give you a haircut like mine while you were sleeping to surprise you. Do you like it?  
  
Nyam: Doom? Haircut? ::looks in mirror to see she has the same hairstyle as Impa.. horrible:: Eep! ::grabs a little turban thingy and puts it one her head:: GOD! My eyebrows are green! *2* Why me?  
  
Impa: Zelda.. You must calm yourself because the walls have ears and they will send us bad luck!  
  
Nyam: ::looks at Impa with an insane look on her face:: First of all, my name is not Zelda, It's Rachael but call me Nyam! Secondly, go get some help!  
  
Impa: ::nods:: Yes your majesty.. ::walks away yelling at no one in particular:: DOOMED! WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
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~Somewhere in the castle~  
  
Jeff: ::still fooling around with his sword, enjoying himself:: Dude! This is wicked!  
  
Scrawny Little Guard [SLG]: Ganondorf, the King requests your presence immediately..  
  
Jeff: ::looks at him:: Dude.. I'm not Ganondorf man.. I'm Jeff.  
  
SLG: Right.. Come with me.. ::leads Jeff down a hallway::  
  
Jeff: Dude.. Have you ever been to The Rock? They got paintball, high ropes, and chicks -  
  
SLG: ::chuckles:: I thought you weren't interested in women. Remember last night? You were great..*3* ::has a screwed up dreamy expression::  
  
Jeff: Hooooooly Moses in a basket! *4* This sucks man! Why do I have to be gay? I'm not gay!!!! ::looks at the guard angrily:: DUDE!!! I'm not gay!  
  
SLG: ::screams like a 5 year old girl and runs away, arms flying::  
  
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~In Gerudo Valley~  
  
Steph: ::runs around like a mad man, swinging her swords:: Swords! SWORDS!!!!!!! ::runs into a pole with a flag on it and is knocked out::  
  
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~Back on earth~  
  
Navi: ::still jumping around the room, breaking everything:: HEY! LOOK! LISTEN! LOOK! HEY! HEY! WAIT! LISTEN! *5*  
  
Zelda: ::cries a river of tears, flooding the room:: I WANNA GO HOME NOOOOOW!!!!!  
  
GT: ::smacks Zelda across the face:: Shut up stupid princess!  
  
Zelda: ::stops and looks at the Gerudo:: THAT HURT! WAAAAAAAA!!! ::cries some more::  
  
Ganondorf: ::wakes up:: Linkypoo, darling, creampuff? ::looks around for Link::  
  
Link: ::looks at Ganondorf:: GANONDORF! My precious wittle woegems! ::starts making out with Ganondorf.. nasty site::  
  
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1 - David's way of telling people to shut up  
  
2 - As a kid, her eyebrows look green.. Did you ever notice that?  
  
3 - Wouldn't be interesting if Ganondorf was sleeping around with men? I dunno, I thought it would be kinda funny..  
  
4 - Jeff's creative little thingy  
  
5 - I hate that fairy.. 


	3. Psycopaths in Hyrule

*High Levels of Stupidity Presents. The Legend of Zelda*  
  
Digital Nekko: MORE REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .o  
  
TheGiantGrandma: .... Can I bash people with your bamboo stick? Please?????  
  
Nyam-Nyam: Steph... I warn you, do NOT give that thing to her  
  
Digital Nekko: Whatever, here Lauren! ::gives her the stick::  
  
Nyam-Nyam: O.O Help me..  
  
TheGiantGrandma: YAY!!! -bashes nyam over the head continuously screaming like a maniac- DISCLAMERS! DISCLAMERS! DISCLAMERS!  
  
Nyam-Nyam: We *bash* dOn'T *bash* OwN *bash* ZeLdAaAaaa... *knocked out*  
  
Digital Nekko: Okay.. Now for the Reviewers Chat thing! Today's chosen review thing is about a comment made by...  
  
TheGiantGrandma: Funky Monkey! Yes that is very true! Navi never did anything for everyone; she's just there to be hated.  
  
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~In the Kokori Forest~  
  
David: ::laughs hysterically as he watches Saria run around in circles, twitching violently::  
  
Lauren: ::pops beside David:: The Great Deku Tree has summoned you! ::looks at Saria:: Pretty..  
  
David: Well, we might as well just play along.. ::starts walking away from Saria as some Kokori gather around her roasting marshmallows:: We gotta get the sword first then that stupid shield..  
  
Lauren: The Great Deku Tree has summoned you! Can get the shield? PLEEEEEEEEASE? I wanna get the shield!  
  
David: Yea, yea, yea whatever.  
  
Lauren: YAY! ::zooms to the shop and looks at the crazy psychotic shop keeper [CPSK] *1*:: Hello can I-  
  
CPSK: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO WELCOME TO KOKORI KRAP! WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOUUUUU? ::hops up and down with a menacing look::  
  
Lauren: Kokori.. Krap?  
  
CPSK: WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU CALL IT!? WOULD YOU RATHER DEAL WITH MY OTHER HALF?  
  
Lauren: No I just want to buy-  
  
CPSK: ::starts twitching and giving crazy looks:: WHAT DO YOU WANT ALREADY? I HAVE SERIOUS EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!  
  
Lauren: ::annoyed, burps so loud that the windows break:: *2*  
  
CPSK: ::screams like a little schoolgirl on crack and hands the fairy everything:: TAKE IT! TAKE IT!  
  
Lauren: Um.. Thanks..  
  
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~Hyrule Castle~  
  
Nyam: Stupid dress.. ::storms out of the room as she struggles with the dress:: What the hell is going on here? ::trips in the hallway and looks up, frustrated::  
  
Jeff: ::looks down at her and points:: Nice view, I can see down your shirt. *3* ::grins::  
  
Nyam: YOU STUPID PERVERTED CYCLOPS THINGY! *4* ::stands up and smacks him across the face::  
  
Jeff: Holy Moses, Nyam?  
  
Nyam: Jeff?  
  
~Both stare and blink at each other~  
  
Jeff: ::bursts into tears from laughing:: YOU'RE WEARING A DRESS!!! *5*  
  
Nyam: Shut up, at least I'm not gay!  
  
Jeff: Dude, I'm not gay!  
  
Nyam: ::raises a brow and points to the SLG who was running around in circles still screaming::  
  
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~Gerudo Valley~  
  
Steph: ::wakes up in some weird room:: Whoa, where am I?  
  
Gerudo Thief 1 [GT1]: It's alive! ::shakes Steph vigorously:: Speak! Speak!!!  
  
Steph: AhAhAHAHAH! ::hits head on wall and gets knocked out. again::  
  
Gerudo Thief 2 [GT2]: ::gasps:: You broke her!  
  
GT1: Did not!  
  
GT2: Did to!  
  
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~On Earth~  
  
~Everything seems to be floating in Zelda's tears~  
  
Zelda: WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Navi: ::bounces all over:: WHAT WAS THAT STUFF CALLED AGAIN? OH YEA! COFFEE!!!!!! ::slams into the coffee machine and swallows some coffee::  
  
GT: SHUT UP!!! ::bashes Zelda over the head::  
  
Zelda: ::stops, sniffles then continues::  
  
Navi: ::laughs insanely and crashes into Zelda, knocking her out:: TAKE MY REGARDS TO BROOOOOOADWAY!!!  
  
~Link and Ganondorf are still kissing and stuff.. Nasty~  
  
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1 - Doesn't the shopkeeper look insane though?  
  
2 - The loudest burper I have ever met.  
  
3 - That's how Nyam and Jeff first met, LoL! She really slapped him too.  
  
4 - Is it just me or does her have a big red ball thingy in the middle of his head?  
  
5 - Nyam is the last person that you would expect to wear a dress 


End file.
